


Selfish for Once

by TimeKing



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bertholdt thinking a lot, Embarrassment, I've got a weird idea on hurt/comfort, Loneliness, M/M, Rare Pairing, and Annie, foul-mouthed Levi, gay-porn magazine, mentions of Reiner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-12 05:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1182265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimeKing/pseuds/TimeKing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi notices that Bertholdt is tensed up all the time and offers him stress release the most charming of way he can come up with...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Selfish for Once

**Author's Note:**

> I just stumbled across this prompt in the kink meme...  
> http://snkkink.dreamwidth.org/8414.html?thread=6771678#cmt6771678  
> This is what happens if my mind gets ideas about rare pairings... and damn it was tough... written over night, sleep deprived... I hope it's not that aweful.

Their first encounter was an accident.

„Hoover, you clumsy fuck! Get off me!“ The Corporal hissed in a pained but demanding voice, kicking and wriggling underneath him and glaring.

Bertholdt instantly scrambled backwards, stuttering apologizes and bowing deep until his forehead touched the stone floor. He just turned the corner on his way to the showers after his cleaning duties in the stables, unaware of the Corporal who happened to walk the corridor he was turning into. Due to their height difference he literally overlooked him and they collided, landing on the floor together.

Levi clicked his tongue. “Tch... you better open your fucking eyes, they aren't just for decoration, you know. And get off the floor, already, it's filthy.”

 

* * *

 

Their second encounter was plain embarrassing.

“Goddamn Hoover, just answer, don't test my patience.” Levi snarled, smacking the piece of evidence against Bertholdt's right arm.

The latter flinched, looking like a deer caught in headlight. Everyone's gazes were upon him and he hated being the center of attention... so much. Ducking his head between his shoulders he responded with a tremor in his voice. “Y-yes, Sir, that's m-mine.”

His blush intensified, he could feel its heat spreading from his cheeks all the way down to his neck as well as he could feel the witnesses stares. He was just trying to cover up for Reiner here... that was a good thing, wasn't it? But then again...

“It's confiscated. No dirty magazine's for minors. Latrine duty for one week, Hoover, for overstepping rules and for incredible daffiness.”

Bertholdt saluted in utter shame, and sighed a 'Yes, Sir'. Everyone in the room started chattering, snickers arose... he could hear Kirschstein making a snarky remark, some of his roommates wooted and others even cat called. Embarrassing. If it wouldn't have been a gay-porn magazine everything would have been probably half as bad.

_'Damn you, Reiner... you could have dumped it somewhere else than under my pillow.'_

* * *

 

Their third encounter was... interesting.

“Corporal Levi Sir, you wanted to talk?” Bertholdt saluted resolutely in front of his superior's office desk, feeling the sweat on his temples running down his cheek. But despite his perspiring nervousness, he kept his head up and his eyes stoically bound forward. This time he wanted to strike Corporal Levi... for whatever reason. Maybe to prove him wrong or to correct the impressions he had left on him.

“No.”

Emitting a surprised gasp at that, Bertholdt reconsidered his determination about impressing Levi and slumped slightly. “Come again...?” _Very eloquent._

“Sit and wait.” Levi didn't even look up from the sheets of paper he was studying and signing. His voice was calm, unaffected and he was wearing the usual deadpanned expression in his dark grey eyes. But even though he lacked any commanding tone, Bertholdt sat down on the single wooden chair in the room without hesitation, folding his hands in his lap and slacking slightly, while he waited.

Time passed by... five minutes, ten minutes, half-an-hour. Nothing happened. The Corporal continued flipping through several folders and signed reports in perfect calmness. Bertholdt watched those delicate nimble fingers of his reaching for the sealing wax, melting it in the flame of the candle on his desk and sealing up letters which probably went to their higher-ups behind Wall Sina.

After fourty minutes Bertholdt concentrated on the light flickering on the pale cheeks of his superior. He took in the shadow play on those sharp features. Levi's eyes appeared to be sunken in even more due to the darkness gathering in his sockets, and the shadow between his knitted eye brows punctuated his grimness. He looked sleep deprived and gloomy as well as very attractive for a man in his thirties.

After another twenty minutes of silently watching Levi doing his daily work, Bertholdt was pretty sure, he had forgotten about his presence at all. He huffed silently. Bending forward he propped his elbows on his thighs and rested his forehead against the bales of his palms, staring at the planked floor. A lot of people tended to do that... forgetting his existence, even though he was close-by.

Reiner claimed it was a natural gift that he could slip the attention that easily. It was of great value for their mission. Annie had thought the same. Maybe they were right... but sometimes he wished he wouldn't be overlooked that often. Sometimes it hurt to not exist.

“Oi, brat!” A shadow lingered upon him. He hadn't realized Levi's approach until he saw his boot toes in his field of view. His voice was oddly soothing. “Why are you crying?”

Bertholdt looked up in astonishment, flinching slightly as he felt warm tears running down his cheeks. He raised a hand to wipe them stubbornly away, simultaneously confirming himself that he was indeed crying. He wasn't even aware... “I-I don't know, Sir.” he choked, his voice a raspy whisper, as he gazed up into the Corporal's eyes. It wasn't a lie... not entirely. At least he could kind of put one and one together considering his former train of thoughts.

Levi quirked an eyebrow at him, still deadpanning.

Instantly Bertholdt felt obliged to say something, explain himself, but... the Corporal probably didn't care about his personal issues, maybe he would even laugh at him for being so pathetic. He knew how sadistic the Corporal could be, if he wanted to, not only with deeds but also with words. So he simply cast his eyes aside and worried his lips.

Irritated Levi clicked his tongue. “Seriously, Hoover, you're so fucking contradictory, you know that? You're a tall, perfectly fit, handsome soldier, a fine soldier, goddamn third ranked in the shitty Top Ten. Still your self-consciousness... how comes?”

Bertholdt dropped his gaze. Good question... a question he should have been prepared for. He was used to this, raised to be like this. He never had a choice in life to speak his own mind or was allowed to grow any self-confidence. After all, he was here on a mission. All he needed to do was operate flawlessly. But he couldn't say that. He couldn't be honest... if he were, he'd be dead within seconds. “I just am. I guess, I've always been like this, Sir.” Half-truth.

“Answer the question then.”

“W-what? But I just answered...”

“Why did you cry?”

“I... I said I don't know... Sir?”

“Bullshit. Answer it properly.”

“It's nothing... no, not nothing, but a personal thing. I'd rather-”

“Answer. It's an order, now.”

Bertholdt moisturized his dry lips with the tip of his tongue and gathered his thoughts. He had no idea, why Corporal Levi was so persistent about that subject. And it was irritating in a way. He had no right to snoop into his private issues, superior or not. Then again, he was the Corporal... he could make the rest of Bertholdt's mission inside the walls a living hell for him if he felt like it. Truth be told, Bertholdt wouldn't put it past him. His stubbornness might even blow the entire operation. Bertholdt's thoughts wandered towards Annie and Reiner... No, he couldn't risk so much. He had responsibility, now, that Annie wasn't able to help any more and Reiner sort of lacked memory.

“It's just... You forgot about me being here and it reminded me of how often people tend to do that, even if I'm around them. I-uhm... I guess, it's kinda sad.”

“Bloody pathetic, Hoover.” There, exactly the words he had predicted. “What makes you believe that you know me so much as to fucking incriminate me of false accusations? Even though I have to admit, you were doing a fucking great job at being silent and unobtrusive, I never forgot that you were sitting right here. Goddamnit, you were watching me like a shitty voyeur all the time. How could I even?”

Bertholdt didn't know what to reply. He was still irritated by that foul-mouthed man, but somehow also transfixed. Gaping like a fish would have probably been the nice description of his baffled expression. So, he had noticed him... he had been aware all along.

The Corporal cleared his throat. “Well, I had some important shitty paperwork to do, is all. And in case you wondered about the 'No, I didn't wanted to talk with you'-thing: That's actually what I didn't plan to do. Talking, I mean. I'm kinda shitty at talking, take a good guess why. Look were it got us. I actually summoned you here for an entirely different reason.”

Bertholdt tilted his head slightly, hoping the other one would get his question without him phrasing words. It worked perfectly on Reiner.

And surprisingly it seemed to work on Levi just as well. “Look, you seem always tensed up. I can't exactly pinpoint why, but I think it's some sorta stress. You don't seem to have those problems on the battlefield, but here, inside headquarters... you get the idea.”

Bertholdt gulped. Did Levi suspect something? Did he maybe even already know?

“Easy, easy, just relax, you're doing it again and I'm not even finished. Well and since I'm not much of a smooth talker, I won't hit around the bush: I guessed you were in need of stress release, in short sex.”

Emerald eyes widened in shock, a blush spread across his cheeks and Bertholdt began to stutter. “I... oh... uhm... jeez...” He hid his face in his palms hoping desperately he hadn't offended his superior by his reaction. But... OH MY GOD... sex with the Corporal? That was... that was the whole point behind all this? “W-why me? Of all people...”

“It's not like you're the only one who's having stress issues here, Hoover. It's common, even if you are a minor. You can fight titans, you can fuck as well, 's my opinion. But if you insist, as I said before, you are tall, perfectly fit and handsome and I'm the one in charge for training you kids. Get it? It's kinda my responsibility to take care of _all_ your needs.” Levi shrugged.

“O-oh...?” _Still very eloquent._

“And judging your taste in magazines I drew the conclusion that you're rather into men.”

Bertholdt's blush intensified again, as he tried to curl into a ball on that small wooden chair he was sitting on. He still remembered that? That was weeks ago.

“Apart from that...” Bertholdt couldn't quite comprehend what happened next, but warm fingers rubbed over his neck, wandered upwards into his damp hair, sending pleasant shivers down his spine. The fingers curled around his locks as Levi yanked Bertholdt's head upwards, forcing him to make eye-contact. It stung, but it felt good at the same time. Their faces just a few inches apart, he could feel the Corporal's breath on his cheeks and smell the bittersweet scent of black tea mingle with the flowery fragrance of soap on the other male.“...I want you and, well, I know how it feels to be overlooked. It happens a lot actually, especially around big-ass shitty brats like yourself.”

Bertholdt chuckled sheepishly as he noticed the Corporal's shit-eating smirk. Right. _That_ incident.

“So, you're cute too, huh? Damn, I'm sure you're full of surprises, Bertholdt Hoover." Hot breath cascaded against his lips, Levi's lids drooping into alluring bedroom eyes. “I swear, that's fucking tempting.” Unable to resist any longer, Bertholdt leaned forward, crushing their lips together and savoring Levi's bittersweet taste. “I don't see, why Keith thought you're lacking initiative. You clearly don't.” The Corporal gasped and straddled his lap, before flicking his tongue against Bertholdt's lips, coaxing him to open his mouth. Bertholdt obliged willingly, emitting a stifled moan into the other man's mouth as he started grinding against his crotch.

Loneliness may be his crux, his burden to bear in a merciless and cruel world.

With Annie lost and Reiner's mind gone astray there was no-one left who was able to understand the way he felt.

Albeit, For the moment he didn't care. He finally caught someone's attention.

Maybe he was being egoistic.

But he would embrace it greedily to temporarily forget about his lonesome heart and, even more so, to make his first entirely selfish, _entirely own_ decision.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are loved and cherished~ ♡


End file.
